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Angela Bucher

finding freedom from religion through deconstruction and motherhood

To The Worn Out Mom: Your How-To Survival Guide

motherhood

 break, mom, survival

dear mom this is your survival guide

I murmured to my husband with a dry mouth and stinky morning breath, “I don’t want to get out of bed today.” It’s been 828 days since my youngest was born. 828 days with no break, but who’s counting. Now I’m homeschooling the older two. I’m overwhelmed, tired, and worn out before my feet hit the floor. Fresh brewed coffee can’t even arouse me. I don’t get a break from my kids so this is my survival guide.

“No Shiloh, I don’t want to play barbies for the hundredth time”

“Abby, I went from being a mom to the teacher also. Give me a break” I plead

“Yeah, but you’re not teaching right now.” My fury unleashes on her. “No, I’m not teaching right now, because along with being mom and teacher, I’m the LUNCH LADY AND THE MAID, so pick up your shit!”

Did I mention it’s only day two of homeschool? My tank is empty. I have nothing to give to these little humans who depend on me.

saving your own sanity

1. Take naps and baths.

2. Take deep cleansing breaths.

3. Don’t stock up on toilet paper! Stock up on wine instead! Kidding. Not really. I am all for a glass of wine during the arsenic hour. It makes for a more enjoyable dinner. If you struggle with addiction, I understand this obviously isn’t an option. Refer to number two.

4. Get the kids to bed early. Go to bed early. I often stay up late in rebellion because that’s my only time alone. Bad idea! The next day consists of even more swearing because I’m tired.

5. Quiet time in the middle of the day is non-negotiable. Make that happen.

6. Play games that you enjoy with your children.

mom, break, survival guide

Are you tired of the same old games?

Thanks to Frozen Two we have discovered Charades. This is fun for the whole family and there aren’t any cards for the three-year-old to crumple, eat, or destroy. I laugh my ass off while playing Charades.

Laughter is the quickest way to receive a jolt of energy.

Shiloh screams from the couch, “Polar Bear! Polar Bear! Polar Bear!” She thinks she is playing too.

Hide and seek takes very little energy when you’re in survival mode. Count longer and it turns into a nice little mom break. Shiloh hides under the covers, giggling, with her feet still sticking out.

Sleeping Queens This game requires a level of cleverness and wit. It’s pretty quick to learn. A six-year-old girl thought of it! It’s great for ages 5 and up. The best part is that you will love this game also.

Outfoxed This game takes a bit of time to learn and understand, but unlike monopoly, it’s not monotonous. It doesn’t take ten thousand hours to play either. It’s a clever game where you get to play detective, gather clues, and eliminate suspects in order to outfox the fox. We are still learning the game, but it’s been fun to learn something new.

We hear a knock on the door. The school is delivering lunches to the kiddos. Grateful tears fall down my cheeks as my children tear into their brown paper bags filled with love. I cross lunch lady off of my list. That frees up thirty minutes in my new daily routine for my favorite pastime.

Must have reads for moms

Nothing feeds my soul like a good book does.

First, at the very top of my list of must-haves. Untamed by Glennon Doyle. Ladies every woman on the planet needs this book! Get ready to lay down everything you thought you knew about motherhood. Throw out all the rules. The best gift we can give to our children is to not abandon ourselves.Order Here!

Second, on the list is Try Softer by Aundi Kober. This book guides us out of anxiety and survival mode into compassion and joy by learning to become softer and more compassionate towards ourselves! Order Here!

Third, is a fictional book. American Dirt by Jeanine Cummins. This book will give a different perspective on our struggles in motherhood. We cannot imagine, from the safety of our own homes, the depth of a mother’s love who finds herself running in order to save herself and her son. Get it now!

There have been seasons in my life where I am too exhausted to read. If that’s you, refer back to suggestion number one and just do that.

mom, break, survival guide

For those of us without any outside help, no grandmas, grandpas, or babysitters to lighten our load, lean as much as you can on your husband. If you’re a single mom without help I am so sorry. I see you. I have been there also, however not indefinitely. While my husband was deployed I found a gym with a daycare. It was the only way I survived two deployments.

For working moms, I have no experience or wisdom to share but would cherish any wisdom you have for maintaining survival mode.

Homeschool moms, how on earth do you do it?

For the love of all things, give yourself a break mom! We can’t be everything to everyone all the time. Lower the expectation of perfection. Some days, just getting out of bed is enough.

How did I do? Did I cover everything? How do you survive? I would love to hear what works for you in the comments below.

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Comments

  1. Christine Jaynes says

    April 25, 2020 at 2:58 pm

    You’re fabulous. That’s all.

    Reply
  2. Liz says

    March 26, 2020 at 2:34 pm

    This is so good! I can relate to so much of this! Thank you!!

    Reply
    • Angela Bucher says

      March 27, 2020 at 10:14 am

      hahaha I know right!? I never planned on being a homeschhol mom!!!

      Reply

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An author by accident🔹Redeeming Destiny: Dancing Into Unexpected Truth🔸There’s buried treasure in our messes...

Angela Bucher


Not sure who said this but if I did I’d give cre
Not sure who said this but if I did I’d give credit. Still genius. I’ve been both. Used to be full of toxicity. Not any more. Conserving my energy for greater things!

I don’t know why this is so funny. Maybe because
I don’t know why this is so funny. Maybe because I didn’t get it at first, but once someone explained it... like I can’t stop laughing. Ten minutes after... eye watering laughter. This can’t be real can it?

Everything we need to know about life, we can lear
Everything we need to know about life, we can learn from a toddler. 
. 
Hell hath no fury like a toddler scorned. 
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Not even kidding. For 45 minutes she screamed with all the fury her little body could hold, she threw things, she writhed and rolled and flailed about. 
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During her meltdown I was thinking, wow this is a whole lot of negative energy being put out into the world. Once the raging storm subsided though, I was overwhelmed with gratitude that all that energy didn’t stay stuck inside her little body. She instinctually knows how to get it all out and she wasn’t stopping until her body was spent. 
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Rewind six years and my oldest often did the same but was met with my own intense rage, using the fear of punishment to regain or maintain control. The difference between the two is palpable. 
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I can’t help but think that toddlers hold all the secrets to living life completely in touch with their emotional bodies. 
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When we punish ourselves or attempt to suppress our own emotions, we inevitably do the same with our kids, but I’ve learned the more we allow ourselves and others to feel, the more we heal. ❤️
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The best thing that has ever happened to me is mot
The best thing that has ever happened to me is motherhood. 
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Currently sandwiched between my two spitfires. In walks lily, ever grounding, between the two. 
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As we lay here I can’t help but think about all that each of these beautiful souls have taught me in how to be a better human. 
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Abby(oldest)...at six years old no longer excepting an apology from me for my out of control rage, because I was just “going to do it again.” In that moment she lit a flame that’s continued to burn towards healing and wholeness. 
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Lily... who melted into tears at the first sound of a raised voice, which in turn melted my own hardened heart into softness. 
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Shiloh... full of fire and fearless because, well, by the third I’ve learned some things about my own trauma, triggers, and still unhealed places. 
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Each kid has had a very different mother, but all three have taught me more than anything how to love better. They’ve shown me all the places that still haven’t healed and even as i work towards wholeness, they too become more whole humans that hopefully won’t have to unravel as much as I’ve had to. 
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Let your kiddos teach you all the wisdom their little uncaged souls already know...
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#momsofinstagram #momssupportingmoms #motherdaughter #motherwounded #motherhoodunplugged #kidshavewisdom #healing #healingjourney #daughterlove #daughtersarethebest #daughters

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Strawberry, blueberry, banana @kachavatribe shake. Y’all this is the only way to start your day. I’m not kidding when I say this is packed with all things healthy and good!

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It’s time... time to move forward, to start dreaming of and then creating the life I’m meant to live. 
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It’s been a long journey through narrow valleys, wondering if I’d ever make it to the base of the mountain, let alone the long climb to the top. 
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I’ve been looking in the review mirror for three years, uncovering layers of hidden baggage that I’ve packed around for most of my life. 
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I’ve unraveled all the stories that have kept me stuck. Trauma, shame, abandonment, religion.  Releasing it all, surrendering to the process, and trusting the unfolding. 
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If you’re in the beginning stages of your healing process and it still feels like too much, too hard, too painful... don’t give up. 
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You’re worth it. This one beautiful life we live is worth it. One day you’ll breathe a deep sigh of relief as you realize you made it through. 
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Healing is messy. It’s not pretty.  When you climb out of the valley and you get to the base of that mountain, turning your gaze upwards, finally believing you have what it takes to make it to the top, there’s nothing on earth quite like it, except maybe the view expanding out before you after you climb that last little trek. 
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For a once drug addicted, lost, and wandering around wounded human to be standing where I am now is beyond me, but if I can do it anyone can and today I’m just so filled with gratitude...
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#gratitude #healing #healingjourney #beautiful #breathe #breathedeeply #connected #heartcentered #addiction #yourenotbroken #writerofig #writerlife #wordsarepower #walkinghomeless


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